


Are You Happy?

by mandarin1820



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Marriage Proposal, No Smut, but we dont shame him, freddie!rami, obsessed with coffee, roger cries too much, roger!ben
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 00:34:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17193143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandarin1820/pseuds/mandarin1820
Summary: “Are you happy?” He asks.Roger reels back for a second. He definitely wasn’t expecting that.“Of course I am.” He pauses, uneasiness creeping over him. “Why do you ask?” His unease must’ve shown on his face as Freddie smiles reassuringly and starts rubbing up and down his arms.“No reason darling. I just want to make sure you’re happy with our relationship so far.”He didn’t like that question. He didn’t like what that could imply. Freddie and him have been together for 2 years now. This was the first time he’s ever been asked that.ORFreddie begins to act suspicious and Roger thinks he's going to break up with him, when really, it's the contrary.





	Are You Happy?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey I'm baaack! It's been a month, but I've literally been working on this for that long because I literally can't focus on one thing for longer than 30 minutes:(  
> So this took forever my apologies.  
> I also want to say before we start is that I know Roger and Freddie weren't together and I respect that. I am mainly basing this off the movie not the real Freddie Mercury and Roger Taylor.  
> Anyhoo, that's all I have to say! Thanks for reading!:))
> 
> Oh! I also changed my username it was lilannie but I changed it!!

SUNDAY-

Everything started Sunday morning.

Freddie and Roger were sitting in bed as the soft rays of the sun cast beautiful shadows over Freddie’s face. It was peaceful. They had been laying together for God knows how long, but they had all day to lay around and absorb each other’s love and warmth so Roger didn’t care how much time they talked in the morning.

Freddie truly was beautiful. His dark hair was sprayed across the pillow as the sun’s shadows made art with his cheekbones and eyelashes. He must’ve been staring too long because Freddie chuckles lightly.

“What?” Freddie mumbles softly. Roger turns on his side to face him fully. He liked the way Freddie had to go a little cross eyed to try and see him properly due to how close he was.

“You’re beautiful.”

“Look who’s talking.”

“Shut up.” Roger smiles and hides half his face into his pillow as Freddie smiles again. Freddie moves a strand of blond hair that got in Roger face behind his ear. Roger hums sweetly as Freddie gently shifts to kiss his forehead, then his lips for a small peck.

Freddie stares into Roger’s bright blue eyes until Roger begins to blush a bit. He watches as Freddie’s face scrunches up with thought and concentration. He opens his mouth to say something, but then looks like he decides against it. Roger frowns slightly, curiously.

“What’s up Fred?” He asks. Freddie swallows hard with an audible click and blinks at him gently.

“Are you happy?” He asks.

Roger reels back for a second. He definitely wasn’t expecting that.

“Of course I am.” He pauses, uneasiness creeping over him. “Why do you ask?” His unease must’ve shown on his face as Freddie smiles reassuringly and starts rubbing up and down his arms.

“No reason darling. I just want to make sure you’re happy with our relationship so far.”

Roger nods slightly and turns to lay his head on Freddie’s chest, looping a leg around his boyfriend’s hips.

He didn’t like that question. He didn’t like what that could imply. Freddie and him have been together for 2 years now. This was the first time he’s ever been asked that. Roger thought he showed his happiness pretty boldly. He begins to bite his lower lip (a nasty habit that’s lead to some bleeding in the past).

Freddie’s breathing was soothing as he began to drift to sleep again.

He wakes up and immediately checks the clock. It was now 9:46 in the morning. Rolling over, he stretched out for Freddie, but he wasn’t there anymore. Their bedroom door was wide open and the hall light was on. He could hear Freddie humming in the bathroom, probably trying to put a melody to words. _I swear he never stops_. Roger thinks fondly to himself.

The clean and cool sheets felt like heaven against his skin as his shirt rides up on his hips and his bare legs stretch out. He lets out a whine and a yawn before sitting up and grabbing his phone to check his emails and texts. Brian sent a few texts to the group chat, but it was Brian, so it was probably something that required thinking to answer so he left it for the time being.

The bathroom door opens and steam rolls out and into the hall. Out struts Freddie in only his jeans he brought in the bathroom with him. His looked shiny and Roger could practically smell his shampoo from the bed.

“Goood morning!” He proclaims and proceeds to take a running start to jump on the bed. Roger squeals and grabs Freddie’s damp shoulders. Freddie starts kissing his face causing Roger to giggle slightly and push away.

“What’s got you in such a good mood?”

“Got big plans today with Deacy!” Freddie smiles and pulls them both on the bed to lay down awkwardly.

“Is that so?”

“Yep!”

“What are you gonna be doing?” Roger’s eyebrows go up in curiosity. Freddie’s smile falters slightly.

“I’m not sure, John hasn’t told me yet. Just said he needs help doing some stuff.” Roger squints his eyes. Freddie’s an awful liar.

“Oh yeah? I don’t have plans. Can I come?”

“No!” Freddie says far too quickly and Roger frowns and sits up. Freddie stands up and faces away from Roger to grab a shirt from the closet. “No Deacy said it was private. Just him and I. Sorry darling.” He says still facing away from him.

“Oh okay.” Roger rolls his eyes at how weird his boyfriend was acting. Freddie was unpredictable sometimes though so he tried not to read too much into it.

He got into the bathroom with a change of clothes and his phone before jumping into the shower.

Why didn’t Freddie want him to come with him and Deacy? And if it was private, why did he bring it up in the first place? He literally had no filter. He was going to get in big trouble one day with that mouth. But something in his head drew him back to their conversation earlier that morning.

_Are you happy?_

And Freddie made that face that he was thinking about something really hard when he asked the question. He tried to erase those words from his brain. Why are they even bothering him so much? Freddie probably wasn’t even thinking when he said them. He needed to chill out.

He decided to text Brian when he got out of the shower if he wanted to meet for lunch. He agreed. When he finally got out of the bathroom after 30 minutes of wasting water and drowning in doubt, Freddie had left already. He left a note saying ‘went to Deacy’s. See you tonight xx’ He sighs and pulls a hand through his wet hair.

-

He heads to the little café at the corner of their street where he said he would meet Brian.

It was a quaint little restaurant with cute decor. There were many students there, working on homework or chatting. Brian was in the corner nursing a black coffee. Roger slips in next to him.

“Hey.”

“Dude we gotta start going somewhere a bit manlier this is hurting my reputation.” Brian says as he sits down and gets rid of his coat. Roger chuckles slightly.

“Yeah and those curls are doing you justice.” Brian gasps and looks offendedly at him.

“Excuse me my hair is a part of me, which is manly, so my hair is manly too.” Brian smiles as Roger rolls his eyes.

Roger orders a freaking vanilla latte and a cookie (Brian definitely pokes fun a bit).

“I’m worried about Freddie.” Roger says and swooshes his coffee around to mix it up a bit. “He was acting funny this morning.”

“Roger just because he was acting funny doesn’t mean you have to be worried.”

“No, yeah I know that! I just, he asked me if I was happy with him.” Roger looks up. Brian was staring at him with a look that read as ‘go on’. “Doesn’t that sound suspicious?”

“You are literally the most paranoid human I’ve ever met.”

“Shut up.”

“No seriously. If he wanted to break up with you, and yes, I know that’s what you’re thinking, he would be straightforward with you. Think about it, it’s Freddie. You’re thinking he’s not happy, but trust me he is. You seriously don’t need to worry.” Brian states.

Roger, feeling a bit better, nods and downs the rest of his vanilla latte.

MONDAY-

Roger almost forgot about what Freddie asked the day before as he walks into his apartment building. Almost.

It was a cold day as he had wrapped a scarf tightly around his neck and tucked it into his coat, so no air would come in. He stuffed Freddie’s hat on his head (because he couldn’t find his) and his warmest gloves his could find. Snow begins to drift down and around him as he scurries inside. He couldn’t stand winter. Everything was cold. The only good thing about winter was Christmas and cuddles.

The elevator was broken (again) so he had to take the stairs to the 4th level. By the time his was at the top, he was out of breath and taking off all his layers. Heat was entrapping him and he literally felt like he was dying. _God I’m really out of shape._ He thinks to himself and wheezes one last time on his knees, before continuing down the hall.

As he unlocks and begins to enter, he hears Freddie in the kitchen on the phone talking to someone. It didn’t sound like Freddie knew he was there. His voice was lower than usual, as if he was being secretive. Roger’s attention peaked.

“Yes… yes I’m doing it Friday. Thank you so much for helping me it means a lot. I really hope Roger takes it well.” Roger’s heart begins to pick up speed as he listens and takes off his shoes. “I’ll swing by tomorrow, is that alright?”

Friday? That’s their date night. What is he going to do Friday? Thousands of thoughts flew around in his head before finally landing on a dreadful idea again. _Is he actually going to break up with me? No. No there would’ve been more clues. This is so sudden._

Roger suddenly slips and throws his hand out to the wall, causing a loud _bang!_ and Roger to let out a soft cuss.

“I’ve gotta go. See you tomorrow.” Freddie practically whispered into the phone. Then he heard soft sock-covered footsteps coming over to the entrance mat and Freddie’s face popping around the corner. He grinned amusingly at Roger’s frost-bitten cheeks. “Are you alright dear?”

“Yes yes.” Roger finally grabbed his boot and ripped it off his foot. Freddie goes back into the kitchen and the sound of a coffee pot pouring into a mug was heard. They were too obsessed with coffee for it to be healthy.

Roger’s head was going a mile a second as he rounded the corner and sat down by the island. Freddie gave him the coffee mug and he began to nurse it.

“You look puzzled. What’s wrong?” Freddie was standing across from him, frowning. Roger glances up and shakes his head.

“Nothing it’s just,” he sighs and tries to calm his racing heart a bit. “Who were you talking to?”

Freddie gave him a funny look, like he didn’t understand. Roger huffs and crosses his arms.

“On the phone just now. Who was that?” Freddie pauses for a second, his eyes flitting between Roger’s eyes and the living room.

“Oh that? That was my sister.” Roger made a face. His sister? Why the hell would he be calling her? When was the last time they got in touch with her? Roger’s throat begins to clog, meaning he was going to cry. _Why are you getting so worked up?!_ Roger scowls himself. His heart was pounding now. Freddie was lying to him. He could feel it. He takes a deep breath, which helps, and continues his interrogation.

“Your sister? Why were you calling her?”

“O-oh it’s nothing for you to worry about dear. Just some family issues is all.” Roger hums. Maybe he’s just being paranoid like Brian said.

“Oh. Are you sure?” Roger looked deep into Freddie’s eyes. Freddie hesitates, but then smiles and grabs Roger’s biceps to pull him forward into a sweet kiss. Roger wasn’t expecting it, but definitely wasn’t disinclined. Even if Freddie was clearly lying.

“Like I said, nothing to worry about.”

“Alright.” Freddie smiles and kisses him one more time, before heading to the bedroom saying something about a shower.

Roger swishes his coffee around in his mug and looks at him, disheartened. Freddie lied to him. Whether it was about the topic or the person, he lied. Roger knows Freddie. Known him for 2 years now. This was very unlike him. They promised they wouldn’t lie to each other. To have a very open relationship.

“Why don’t we watch a movie tonight?” Freddie shouted from the bedroom, bringing Roger out of his thoughts. His eyes had teared up without him noticing. He rubs at them frustratedly. Stupid emotions betraying him.

“Sure,” he shouts back, his voice unwavering (surprisingly). “What do you want to watch?”

TUESDAY -

Freddie was home late.

And the thing that irritated Roger the most was that Freddie didn’t tell him.

Sure, Freddie doesn’t necessarily have to tell him anything, but he thought they made a mutual agreement that if they were going to stay out late, especially when it’s snowing and the roads are slippery, they would tell each other.

Roger wasn’t even paying attention to the time until it got to be 7:45 and Freddie wasn’t home. Roger frowns and makes some angry freezer chicken nuggets. Hey, they were in college can’t blame them for saving money!

He grabbed the ketchup and cuddled up on the couch, balancing his plate on his knees and scrolling through the TV’s guide to find something at least half decent to watch. He settles on something Christmas-y on the Hallmark channel and sticks a nugget in his mouth, then breathing like a dragon because it was too hot.

After he finishes his late dinner, he goes back to the cabinet and grabs a big bag of pretzels and brings it back to the couch.

Honestly, he didn't know how he was feeling. He didn't know how he was supposed to be feeling. Freddie was his first real relationship and he’s never done something like this. Call him naive, but he was generally concerned. Did something happen? The snow was coming down harder now, did he get into an accident? His mind was racing as he reaches for the phone. He needed to get to the bottom of this before he had a full-fledged anxiety attack.

He texted Freddie first and then called him, and then was about to call him again, when Freddie texted saying he was in the studio. Now he was allowed to get mad. Roger huffs angrily.

Why didn't he text him? Roger was losing his mind and Freddie was just in the studio writing music. The least he could’ve done was text him. Roger bites his lip.

_Why didn't you tell me earlier? I was worried._ Roger texted, and Freddie read, but didn’t answer. Roger’s frown deepened. What is going on? There was so much happening and he didn’t know what to do, and before he knew it, he was beginning to cry. He was frustrated at Freddie and himself (because he must’ve done something to deserve this right?) and quite frankly, Roger can’t hold emotions very well.

He cried only for a few minutes. He felt much better once he was finished. Freddie was probably the most distracting person in his life at the moment.

He waited until Freddie got home to go to bed. Freddie got home around 11 o’clock.

When Roger saw him, he wanted to yell at him and be genuinely angry, but he was too tired. He’d had an exhausting day, which was turning into a week, and he just wanted it all to end.

He fell asleep with Freddie’s back turned to him, not touching. Roger gripped the blankets tighter in his hands.

_I’ll confront him tomorrow._ He told himself as he drifted to sleep

WEDNESDAY -

Roger got up around 9 to find Freddie had already went to class. He should’ve known. _Every Wednesday he has early classes._ Roger groaned and flops back on the bed. He wanted to talk to Freddie immediately so he didn’t sound like he was looking for a fight. He was definitely going to confront him today about his weird behavior no matter what his schedule says, he was going to find time.

He grabbed his phone and tried calling Freddie, but realized he’s probably in the middle of a lecture so he obviously isn’t going to answer.

He texts him to meet for lunch, but Freddie declines saying he has lunch with Brian. Roger rolls his eyes and asks about getting together after Roger’s 3 o’clock class, but Freddie says he’s trying to work on a song and wanted to go to the studio. Roger suggests he comes too, Freddie says he’ll be distracting.

Roger felt slightly offended so he stops texting Freddie for the time being.

He understood Freddie was a focused person, but they usually went to the studio together to work on songs. That was something they enjoy doing together. Even if it was more professional than anything else. That, or they end up shagging against the drums. Was Freddie avoiding him? No he wouldn’t do that. Would he? Why would he do that? Roger feels anxiety start to build in his chest.

Was he not good enough for Freddie? Does he not love him anymore? What did he do wrong? Roger’s breathing was building speed as Roger shakily pushes his bangs out of his face. His face comes back damp. Was he crying? Yeah he was. When did that happen?

He has too many questions and not enough knowledge to answer them. He slides to the ground against his bedroom wall and leans his head on the wall, curling his knees to his chest. He felt young and childish and naive. He felt like he didn’t know anything anymore and he just wanted to understand.

Pulling out his phone with shaking hands he finds Deacy through his contacts.

“‘Yello?”

“Deacy?”

“What’s wrong?” Roger let’s put a humorless chuckle as John’s voice immediately sobers at Roger’s pathetic whimper.

“I mean- I just, I think Freddie’s breaking up with me.” Roger pauses. “I don’t think he loves me anymore.”

“Why would you say that?”

“He just, he asked if I was happy the other day,” saying it out loud made him feel stupid. “And he’s calling mysterious people and telling me it was his sister, which I don’t think it was. Yesterday he came home at eleven. Eleven John! That’s almost midnight-“

“You’re getting old if you think that’s late.”

“Shut up,” Roger smiles wryly. “Today i asked him if he wanted to do something and he kept making excuses. I think he’s avoiding me. I don’t know what to do.” Roger’s throat starts squeezing shut, cueing his crying to really start.

“Firstly, those reasons could be valid, but I think you should think of it a different way.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Roger bristled. He hears John sigh.

“He might just be busy. I know he’s working on a song for the album.” John says. Roger rolls his tearful eyes to himself. John was a good friend, but _sometimes_ he was just not empathetic _at all_.

“But what about the other stuff? Why would he ask me if I’m happy?”

“Roger dear, you’re reading into this waaay too much. You need to chill out.”

“But-“

“He was probably just asking a question. You know Freddie, never thinking about anything before it comes out of his mouth.”

“Well, maybe-“

“And don’t assume he was lying to you about the phone! He very well might have been talking to his sister.”

“Yes I know that, but he never calls his sister-“

“Well maybe he wanted to!” John sounded like he was getting worked up and frustrated. Roger frowned, confused. Why was John getting mad? He had nothing to do with this. He almost sounds flustered.

“Deacy, why are you getting angry?” Roger sniffles, sounding 10 years younger than he was.

“I’m not angry. I guess I’m confused why Freddie’s acting weird too.”

“Aha! So he is acting weird!”

“Never said he wasn’t!”

“You did! You said-“

“Shut up, shut up!” John was giggling now. Roger was snickering too. Roger heard a voice from Deacy’s side of the phone. “I’m sorry Roger, I’ve gotta go.”

“That’s okay.” Roger says, sadly. John promises to be there for him when he needs it then hangs up. He sits on the ground for another minute before getting up and getting dressed for his afternoon lectures.

Maybe he was reading too much into this. Maybe he was being insecure. As he walked into the bathroom and turned on the light, he noticed himself in the mirror. He looked like he just got ran over by a truck. Roger chuckles lightly and runs a hand through his hair. He caught a bunch of knots and snags making him flinch. When was the last time he brushed his hair? He sighs and starts brushing his hair, then his teeth.

His eyes were bloodshot from crying and he noticed his shirt was on backwards. He probably was too far in his head to notice.

After splashing some water on his face, he glances back up. Much better. Then a realization hit him fast and hard, making him grip his forehead and stare in the mirror at his shocked face.

What if Freddie didn’t like how he looked anymore? Maybe that was why he was asking if he was happy and calling mysterious people at night.

Sure, he’ll admit, the last few months he hasn’t really tried with his appearance. He just throws on a shirt and pants, brushes his teeth and sometimes his hair, and goes. He doesn’t want to get up any earlier than he has to look nice. But, if it meant keeping or losing the best thing in his life, then he will spend that extra hour every day. He looks at the clock. He has 30 minutes before he leaves. Usually he would eat breakfast, but not today.

He grabs his straightener, plugging it in to heat up. He then runs to his jewelry box, which was now super dusty and untouched, and grabs necklace that caught his eye. Lastly, he grabbed his leopard-printed fur cardigan that he only ever wore if it was a special occasion, but Freddie loved it, so he put it on and went back to the bathroom.

He lightly waved his hair with the straightener (he refused to get a curler, there’s no point if a straightener can do the same job) and he was done, he made sure his bangs were straight and curved perfectly. Glancing at the clock, he had 10 minutes. He sighs and looks in the mirror.

He looked… pretty.

He couldn’t remember the last time he looked his good. He smiles to himself. Then something on the counter catches his eye. A tube of Freddie’s lip gloss. He exhales and grabs it.

He wasn't really into wearing makeup like Freddie was, but it was Freddie’s lip gloss. Something about that made heat swirl in his gut. He pops it open and applies a light layer of gloss to his lips.

Was he being extra and petty? Yes he was. Did he regret it? No he did not.

The lip gloss was sticky and tasted like strawberries. He smacked his lips together, not liking the way they would stick before peeling off each other. But he looked good so that’s all that matters.

He grabbed a granola bar, praying he wouldn’t get too hungry before lecture was over and ran out the door. He got to class just in time.

-

“Freddie?” Roger slowly creeps into the studio, but it appeared empty. Roger wanted to surprise him, but he couldn’t find him. It looked like no one had been there all day. The lights were off and everything was stock still. Roger frowned. Freddie said he would be here at noon. Where was he?

“Freddie are you in here?”

“Roger?” Roger whips around to see Freddie holding a coffee and something behind his back. His face was in pure horror and confusion. “What are you doing here?” He shifts and seemingly trying harder to hide something. Roger tries to peek to see what he was doing, but Freddie already hid what he wanted to hide.

“I wanted to surprise you.” Roger hesitates. “What do you have?” Roger glances at Freddie’s hands that are now fidgeting in front of his bag.

“Oh it’s nothing dear.”

“Then why are you trying to hide it?” Roger crosses his arms. He’s getting to the bottom of this now.

Freddie’s eyes widen.

“I’m not trying to hide anything, Roger.”

“Right.” Roger huffs and shifts his weight to one leg, crossing his arms. “Freddie what has been going on with you?”

Roger sounded desperate, even though his stance showed he didn’t care.

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean is, you’ve been acting really strange all week. First, you asked me if I was happy, and of course I am! That’s a weird question! Then you lied to me about a phone call with your sister-“

“Woah woah wait,” Freddie’s eyebrows furrow as he drops his bag and crosses his arms. “I just asked you a question. You don’t have to be defensive.”

Roger let’s out a strangled and humorless laugh and throws his arms in the air.

“Don’t get defensive? Freddie, do you not think before you speak? That’s a very confusing and concerning question. Imagine if I said that to you?” Roger glares at his boyfriend as Freddie stands up a bit taller, which Roger recognizes as him getting ready for a fight.

“I didn’t mean it that way. I just wanted to make sure you were happy!”

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why are you asking me if I’m happy? Are you not happy?! Is that why?” Roger was beginning to get angry as his voice raises. “It doesn’t seem like you’re happy cause you’re lying about phone calls and staying out later-“

“Roger you’re being irrational. I was home late one day.” Freddie suddenly looks very angry and confused. “And what are you on about me lying about phone calls?”

“You weren’t calling your sister.” Roger screeches and steps forward. His eyes were now burning with tears. Freddie was staring at him in disbelief.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. You never call your sister and now, suddenly, you do after you ask me if I’m happy and then the next night getting home extremely late? I don’t think-“

“How dare you!” Freddie’s voice suddenly roared, echoing through the room. Roger flinches, But doesn’t backup. “I most definitely was calling my sister and if you don’t believe me you can check my caller history! I cannot believe you accuse me of lying to you.” Freddie was practically shaking with anger at this point and keeps getting closer to Roger. Yet, being the stubborn bitch he was, he stood his ground until Freddie was right in front of him.

Freddie’s never touched him violently and he truly believed he never would, but he will admit, Freddie looked extremely intimidating.

“But you did lie to me, didn’t you?” Roger scrunched up his face and pointed an accusing finger at him. “What’s in your bag?” Freddie’s anger hesitated as he tilted his head. “The thing you didn’t want me to see. The thing that you told me was ‘nothing’ what is it?”

Freddie’s face lights up with recognition and he suddenly looks uncomfortable. “It’s none of your business.” His teeth were gritted together.

“Unbelievable.” Roger let’s put a humorless chuckle. “Why won’t you tell me?” Roger suddenly shouts, tears now falling hotly down his cheeks. He swipes angrily at them. Freddie steps forward and points at him, suddenly looking even more angry than before.

“I don’t have to tell you anything!” He shouts and points at him, slowly walking forward making Roger take vulnerable steps back until he hits the wall. “I don’t have to tell you everything! I’m my own person and if I have something you don’t need to know, then you aren’t going to know until I’m ready to tell you.”

Roger visibly deflated against the wall Freddie had him up against. He closes his eyes and lays his head against the wall and just lets the tears roll down his face, which either land on himself or Freddie’s shirt. Freddie practically on top of him, pinning him against the wall. If he wasn’t there, Roger definitely would have fallen to the ground, all emotions overwhelming his system, making his knees weak. He knew Freddie was staring at him and he truly looked pathetic, but he couldn’t care less. His chest hurt with so much with frustration, anger, and sadness that he didn’t even know what to do anymore.

There was a long few seconds of silence.

The feeling of Freddie’s long and cold piano fingers on his cheeks wiping his tears made him flinch and open his eyes.

He looked at Roger with empathy, all anger had seamlessly melted away.

Freddie sighs and back up, causing Roger to let out a hiccup and grab his shoulder. Freddie sighs again and ranks a hand through his own hair. He looked like he wanted to say something or hug him, and Roger hoped he didn’t, even though he’d been wanting Freddie to just show some sympathy towards him all week, now was not the time.

Freddie hesitates again before silently walking out of the studio. Roger just stands there staring at him, watching him leave, before breaking down and completely losing himself in grief.

THURSDAY -

Roger feels awful about yesterday.

He wanted to apologize for causing a scene and falsely accusing, as well as taking away Freddie’s music time in the studio, but every time he wanted to approach him, he felt a lump in his throat and panic growing in his chest.

Freddie didn’t come home last night, probably went to Deacy’s house to give Roger space.

He got home from classes around 3:30 in the afternoon and Freddie still wasn’t home. That was when Roger started to panic.

He blew it. He tried to fix it, and he ruined it forever. He needed to do something, but he didn’t know what.

He wanted to cry or punch a wall or anything other than what he was feeling, and he was about to follow through with both, when suddenly the phone rang.

He scrambled for the phone, praying it was Freddie, but it was just Brian. Disappointment flooded through his body. He never thought he would be disappointed to talk to his friends.

“Roger! My man!” Brian’s voice was peppy and overly happy. He obviously knew about Freddie and his fight. Roger rolls his eyes and decided to humor him.

“Yes Brian?”

“Deacy and I- Deacy say hi!” Great he was on speaker phone. Roger smiles to himself as he hears a distant ‘hello Roger!’

“What’s up-“

“We wanted to know if you wanted to go bowling tonight with us?” Roger’s eyes squint into a glare, even if they can’t see him.

“Is Freddie coming?” Roger didn’t know if he wanted a yes or no to that question. There was silence for a second that he wouldn’t have noticed if he wasn’t really searching for an answer.

“No mate he can’t make it.”

“Oh,” Roger bites his lip. “Okay sure I’ll go.”

“Great! That’s- shut up John stop cheering -that’s great we’re so glad you can make it.” Roger laughs as he can hear Deacy cheering and whooping in the background. “See you tonight!”

“Yeah, yeah you too.”

-

“Glad you could make it!” Brian slaps him on the back as he enters the bowling alley. Deacy was already at their spot getting on his shoes. It was busy as Brian and Roger zigzagged through the people.

“I don’t understand why we have to change our shoes,” Deacy says when they sit down next to him. He was rustling with the huge knot in his shoelaces. “What’s even the point?”

Brian plops down next to him and hands a pair of orange and yellow shoes to Roger.

“I believe it’s because they don’t want pebbles or dirt in the waxy floors,” Brian pauses to think, looking up. “Or so it doesn’t scuff. I don’t believe these shoes scuff.”

John rolls his eyes and tries to scuff his new shoes, to no success.

“Yeah well, whatever.” Deacy mutters and Brian smiles brightly. He grabs his bowling ball, deciding he was going first.

“Wait wait,” Roger looks for the ball rack. “I didn’t get a ball. I’ll be right back!” He states and rushes over to the rack of different balls. He smiles to himself as he hears Deacy complain about setting up the bowling order on the computer to put on the TV above.

He grabs an easy ball that he could roll easily and turns to go back to John and Brian, when he sees something that makes him freeze.

There was Freddie, right there with a girl. A blonde girl. Roger couldn’t see his face, but it looked just like him, the hair, the body. He swears it’s Freddie.

His face grows hot and he begins to feel emotions running through him. He wasn’t sure which emotions; mostly anger and confusion. Roger cautiously, yet forcefully stumbles over to him.

“Freddie,” he miffed, grabbing Freddie’s shoulder to turn him around. The man turns, looking confused and irritated.

“Excuse me?” He says. This was not Freddie. Roger flushed and snaps his hand away back to himself like he’d been burned. A new emotion flooded through him: embarrassment. It rushes through his body and he shifts uncomfortably from foot to foot, avoiding eye contact.

“Oh I’m so sorry. I thought you were… someone else. Sorry.” He mumbles and tries to look at least a bit empathetic as he begins to shuffle away.

The man glares at him and nods, as if to forgive him. Roger walks away as fast as he possibly could, hugging his bowling ball tight to his chest.

“Where were you? Why did you take so long?” Brian halfheartedly states as he rolls shot, getting a strike and John throws his arms in the air to cheer. Roger didn’t answer, his face feeling hot and his chest feeling heavy.

He can’t think of a time where he felt more humiliated than he did at this moment. He was thankful it was so dark. The scene played over and over again in his brain until he wanted to die in a hole.

“Roger?” Deacy was suddenly sitting right next to him. Brian was standing beside him too. Roger looks up and clears his throat slightly. He probably looked like he was about to have a mental breakdown in the middle of the bowling alley.

“Sorry, yes. I’m fine.” He says meekly. Deacy side-eyes Brian and Brian shrugs.

“What happened?” Deacy asks, shifting his attention to the TV above them telling them who’s next. “It’s your turn by the way.”

Roger stands and grabs his ball. He swings and it goes in the gutter immediately. He huffs as he hears his two friends giggling behind him. He turns to grab his ball again, but accidentally makes eye contact with the man that looks like Freddie and all his embarrassment settles back in his chest making it harder to breath. He grabs his ball quickly and swings again, knocking over one pin before quickly sitting down again.

It was John’s roll next as Brian sits down next to him, a face of concern.

“What happened?” He repeats what John said earlier. Roger rubs the back of his neck and watches Deacy swing and knock over 5 pins. They really suck at bowling.

“Okay,” Roger lets out a breath he’d been holding. “So I thought a guy over there was Freddie and I got upset and grabbed him and it ended up not being Freddie.” Roger tries to state quietly over the pounding music, but Brian hears him and squints his eyes.

“You grabbed a man forcefully-“

“Well I wouldn’t say forcefully-“

“Okay you grabbed a man’s arm angrily and turned him around to find out it was Freddie?” Brian looked startled as he was thinking to himself. He let his eyes wonder behind Roger for a second before bringing his attention back. “Why would it be Freddie?”

Roger threw his arms in the air and slaps them back down on his thighs. He was feeling really stupid right now.

“I don’t know! I’m sure you already know, but Freddie and I got into a fight and I guess my brain’s just not working right.” Roger ranks a hand through his hair and sighs. “I felt angry and jealous and wasn’t thinking right. Obviously, Freddie’s not here. I just- I’m not thinking right.”

Brian sighs beside him and looks up and around before responding.

“Look, I understand. Relationships sometimes have troubled times. But they always get better.”

“Or they get worse and I lose Freddie because he doesn’t love me anymore.” Roger feels tears start to pool in his eyes. He feels John slip in the chair beside him as he covers his face in his hands.

“Oh Roger. Freddie’s not going to break up with you anytime soon.” Brian says and wraps an arm around his shoulder.

“Yeah he loves you very much.” Deacy adds. Roger lets out a breathy laugh.

“How do you know? He’s been acting weird all week. I don’t know what to do. Am I doing something wrong? Am I ugly?” It slips out as he thinks back to the day before and the lip gloss.

“No Roger,” Brian sounded slightly amused and Roger looks up to see him smiling softly at him. “You are very beautiful.”

Roger scoffs and shoves Brian a bit. He wipes at his eyes.

“Am I overreacting?”

“I wouldn’t say that. Your feelings are valid,” John pipes in patting Roger on the shoulder. “But I would say to relax a bit. Freddie has a lot on his plate this week… what?” Brian had slapped his arm and gave him a ‘you better fucking shut up’ look. John’s eyes widen and his mouth shuts quickly. Roger looks between his two friends with a frown.

“What?” Roger asks. “What are you both on about?”

“Nothing! Nothing at all. What John means is he has a lot of work and music this week is all.” Brian’s smile was fake and Roger wasn’t fall for it. They were both hiding something and he was going to find out sooner than later. Deacy pats his shoulder again and points at Brian.

“It’s your turn mate.”

“Ah yes! Almost forgot about the game!” He nervously laughs to himself and stands. He stretches, then walks over to do his turn.

-

They stayed at the bowling alley for at least 4 hours, and Roger tried everything to try and get the boys to tell him what Freddie was doing. They eventually told him he was working on a solo album which made him confused since he figured Freddie would tell him if he ever did that. He had no idea. He concluded at the end of the night that they had lied and that Freddie was not working on a solo album, he was doing something else, but he didn’t know what.

But by midnight, he couldn’t care less. Deacy and Brian kept telling him to slow down on the beers, but bowling was a lot more fun when he saw double the number of pins to knock down.

Yet, after chucking his bowling ball into the isle next to theirs, twice, they cut him off and forced him to eat some breadsticks and pizza.

Now it was 1:46 in the morning and Deacy had dropped him off at his apartment.

He finally got Deacy to stop babying him and let him walk up to his apartment alone. That he’ll ‘call if he needs anything’, but Roger wasn’t even thinking about safety or getting mugged in his slightly sketchy apartment building. All he was thinking about was plopping down on his nice warm bed and going to sleep.

He stumbled up the stairs and finally (after many tries) got the keys in the keyhole. He snorts to himself as he opens the door and it makes a weird sound. Goofy sounding door. Sounds like a horror movie. What’s gonna be inside.

“Roger? Thank God I was worried sick!”

Ooh Freddie’s inside. He snorts again as he thinks about how in a horror movie Freddie would be the monster. Oh my God he was so _drunk_.

He takes a step and shuts the door with a slam, he smiles at Freddie. _Freddie’s home_. Freddie was getting closer and he touches his cheeks.

“Where have you been?!” Freddie asks, concern written all over his face as he leads him to the living room to sit. They sit on the couch and Roger leans back to lie down and shut his eyes.

_Where have you been?_ Roger frowns. That sounds awfully familiar.

“Where have you been.” He mutters then opens his eyes. “Where have _you_ been?” He suddenly sits up, he blacks out for a second and nausea settling in his stomach.

“I asked first,” Freddie states and stands to grab him a water bottle. “Drink this.”

Roger thinks for a second. Freddie did ask him first…

“I went bowling,” he shrugs and downs the water bottle in about 10 seconds, he was still thirsty though.

“You went bowling?” Roger nods. “With who?”

“I went with Brian and Deacy.” He states simply and smiles a bit. He thought Brian and Deacy told him, but guess not. He was so glad Freddie was home. He leans his heavy head on Freddie’s shoulder. He could feel Freddie breathing and when he pushed his ear against Freddie’s shoulder, he could faintly hear his heartbeat. He closed his eyes to listen harder.

“Roger, I’m really sorry about what happened yesterday,” Freddie was fidgeting now with his hands. Roger hums neutrally and nuzzles slightly into his shoulder. He was trying to hear Freddie’s heartbeat, but if Freddie was going to keep talking, then he wouldn’t be able to.

Freddie sighs and pulls Roger off of him so they could look each other in the eye.

“You’re very drunk, yes?” Roger nods sleepily. Freddie sighs again. “You won’t remember this in the morning, will you?” Roger frowns.

“I will! What do you want to say?” Roger says confidently. Freddie stared at him for a few seconds.

“Alright,” Freddie starts, biting his lip. “I’m sorry for being such an ass lately. I’ve been so busy with work, but I promise it will all be over by the end of the week. Tomorrow is the last and most… productive day and then it will be all over. Can you forgive me?” Roger thinks for a second, processing the information.

“Yes I forgive you.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I’m sorry too, for being an ass.” Freddie scoffs and rolls his eyes at Roger’s slightly slurred words.

“I hope you remember this in the morning.” Freddie helps Roger stand to go to bed.

“I will.” Roger mutters and they start to the bathroom. Roger pulls out of Freddie’s arms. He’s an independent man that needs no one.

“Yeah yeah. Let’s get you to bed.” Freddie smiles softly at him and kisses his temple. “You’re gonna regret your drinking decisions in the morning.”

FRIDAY -

Roger wakes up to a migraine and nausea. His stomach rolls again unpleasantly causing him to quickly untangle himself from Freddie and rush to the bathroom to spill his guts.

His stomach contracted awfully and Roger groans, leaning his forehead on the porcelain toilet lid. The smell makes him gag again so he flushed real fast and swallows hard.

“Not feeling the best?” Freddie was leaning on the doorway with a smirk on his face. Roger groans and leans back on his ass to lean against the wall all sprawled out on the ground.

“Fuck you,” Roger whines.

“Maybe later,” Freddie fucking winks and Roger rolls his eyes. Freddie laughs and walks away to the kitchen.

Roger struggles to stand, but when he does, he brushes his teeth and takes a big gulp of water to help sooth his burning throat.

He hums lightly to himself and stares at himself in the mirror. His face was ghostly pale and his eyebrows were furrowed. He looked sick. Scoffing, he finishes up brushing and spits, then follows Freddie to the kitchen.

Freddie was making coffee, but turns to watch Roger come in. He frowns and leans against the counter biting on his thumb nail. Roger clears his throat awkwardly.

“Do you remember last night?” Freddie’s voice echoed slightly, startling Roger.

Roger thinks back to before he was really drunk and tries to remember. The memories come back in bits and pieces, but he did remember Freddie’s apology. He flushed with embarrassment at the thought of Freddie staying up waiting for him so he could apologize, and he stumbled in in a drunken mess.

“Look, I’m really sorry I was out so late. I feel a bit like a hypocrite. I get mad at you for staying out late and not telling me, then I don’t tell you. I’m sorry.” Roger sighs and swipes a hand over his face and tries to get rid of the red creeping up his neck. Freddie was listening with his arms crossed, a slightly amused look on his face.

“Roger, I don’t need your apology, although it’s nice.” Freddie smiles as Roger rolls his eyes. Freddie scratches the back of his head. “Do you remember what I said last night?” He repeats a bit more persistent this time. Roger huffs and places his face in his hands to squish his face.

“Yes,” he states evenly, before shrugging slightly. “But only the important parts.”

Apparently, that wasn’t the right thing to say because Freddie suddenly wears a deep frown.

“The important parts?”

“I remember you apologizing for being an asshole for this week,” Roger crosses his arms defensively. Freddie huffs and starts pacing slightly.

“Of course you did. You only remember what you want to remember.” Roger stares at him, confused. What the fuck? What the fuck? What is he on about?

“What are you on about?”

“You only want to hear what _you_ want to hear.”

“What the- What the actual fuck are you talking about? That’s literally all we should be talking about because that’s the problem.” Freddie lets out a high-pitched laugh and throws his hands in the air. He was practically bouncing off the walls. Something was obviously bothering him. Roger wasn’t sure what triggered it, or what it could be, but he was starting to get pissed for being targeted.

“What’s wrong now?” Freddie hesitates.

“You! You are what’s wrong!” Freddie was now pointing at him, tears in his eyes. Roger was downright dumbfoundedly confused as he stares at his boyfriend. Freddie was holding his face now, pushing the heels of his hands into his eye sockets roughly. One second they were fine, the next Freddie is trying to start a fight with him.

There was a long thing of silence.

“Why are you trying to start fights with me?”

“I’m not.”

“Really? Cause it sure seems like it. I can remember now,” that’s a bit of a lie, but not the point. “And all you apologized for was being an asshole lately and how it’ll be over soon. What more is there? Why are you so angry?”

Roger stands up abruptly. Freddie looks at him, some tears in his eyes were running down his cheeks. Roger immediately softens and rushes to him to wipe them off. Freddie doesn’t do a thing. “What’s wrong?”

Freddie lets out a strangled sob and wipes at his face. He looked so fragile and hunched over as Roger wraps his arms around him for him to lay on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. What’s wrong?”

“I- I think I just had a bit of an anxiety attack and took it out on you.” Freddie lets out a wet and humorless chuckle. “I’m really sorry.”

“Why are you anxious?” Freddie didn’t answer for a long while, and when he did, Roger was definitely not satisfied.

“I can’t tell you.”

“Is it me?”

“Slightly.”

Roger didn’t know what to say. His anxiety peaked and his heart rate quickened. What did that mean?

“I’m sorry,”

“No no. Nothing you can do that will make me feel better. It’s not directly you. It’s just, you.” Now he wasn’t making sense. Roger blinked and looks at him. His eyes were closed and his cheeks were rosy. Roger bites his lip.

This is it. He was definitely going to break up with Roger. There’s no other explanation for an _anxiety attack_ over _him_. Just _him_. Something was causing Freddie to freak and to his knowledge, it was just him. Just Roger. He was going to lose Freddie. He could _not_ lose Freddie.

And he definitely wasn’t over thinking this (stupid Deacy and Brian).

“Are we still up for date night tonight?”

“Yes! I mean,” Freddie snapped awake looking terrified at the option of not having date night. “Yes of course, love.”

-

Roger was losing his mind. He had no idea what was going on. All he knew was one thing: he could not lose Freddie.

He had to look his best and be super nice and try to win his boyfriend’s heart back. There was no other way.

He thought they were fine, but Freddie’s panicked frenzy that morning proved otherwise. Something was going on, but Roger didn’t know what. He knew couples fight. He also knew Freddie and Roger fought a bit more than normal couples, but he also knew he loved Freddie more than anything in the world.

Roger put on his tightest jeans (the ones that make his ass look fantastic) and did his hair up nice. He wore one of his favorite shirts and most expensive necklace.

He felt arms around his waist. He already knew who it was, but looking in the mirror confirmed it.

“Are you ready?” Freddie whispered in his ear. “You look ravishing,” He nibbled gently on his ear and Roger shivered. He quickly turns around to grip Freddie’s hips and kiss him hard on the mouth.

_If he’s gonna break up with me, better give him something to remember._ He thinks as he feels Freddie kiss back just as heated.

“Come on if we continue, we’re gonna be late!” Freddie pulls away, but kisses him gently one more time.

They call an Uber and arrive to the restaurant just a tad late for their reservation, to which Freddie and Roger both start laying into the front of house for the restaurant threatening to give up their table if they don’t arrive on time.

The restaurant was nice. Too nice. Roger couldn’t remember a time date night was this fancy. His only train of thought was _he’ll never be able to either._

They settle and start talking about the day, which Roger quite enjoys talking to Freddie. He creates such extravagant stories, sometimes they obviously aren’t true, but they’re nice to listen to. Roger almost forgets what’s going to happen at the end of the night. He almost forgets what’s been happening the entire week, but it was always there in the back of his thoughts, taunting him. Reminding him that he was going to lose one of the best things in his life.

They order their food and then it’s just a matter of time. There was obviously a tension between them, but Roger wasn’t going to say anything. If Freddie wanted to break up with him, he does it right.

Freddie looked extremely nervous, looking anywhere but at Roger and playing with the table mat, twisting it between his fingers.

“Roger?” Roger is suddenly startled out of his trance he had caused when Freddie started staring at him. His heart jumps to his throat so fast he feels like he might throw up. Roger makes a face to say ‘go ahead’. He didn’t trust his voice not to shake with nerves.

Freddie was now looking at something in his lap, but Roger wasn’t much thinking about that. He was trying to calm his beating heart.

_This was it._ Roger was trying to keep his emotions at bay, but he was just so exhausted from the week-

“Listen, you know I love you very much,” Freddie starts and takes an obvious big breath. “And I asked you on Sunday if you were happy, which I know you dwelled on, but I’m going to tell you why I asked because it’s important to me. It’s important that you are happy with me because,” Freddie makes hard eye contact with Roger before standing up and getting on a knee beside him.

_Wait_.

_Wait what?_

“Wait what are you doing-“ Roger starts, his voice cracking but stops as soon as he sees what’s in Freddie’s hands.

A box. A ring box.

A gasp escaped his lips and he covers his gaping mouth. He couldn’t believe it. Freddie, his Freddie wanted to marry him.

“Because I want to be with you for the rest of my life and I can’t imagine life without you. I’m very being happy with you, but would you make me even happier if you would marry me?” It came out as a question and that’s when Roger lost it.

Tears were streaming down his face in exhaustion and joy and relief that all he could do was stare and cover his mouth as tears rolled past and onto his hands.

Freddie smiles nervously and shifts on his knee a little. Roger sympathizes as his eyes widen when he realizes he was literally just staring at him with his mouth wide open like a fish while Freddie poured his heart out to him.

“ _Yes!_ Of course yes! A million times yes!” He practically sobs as he wraps his arms around Freddie, tackling him with a hug. He noticed people around them were clapping, but he didn’t give a shit because Freddie was here. He was here and wanted to be his for as long as he’d let him be.

He leans back and gives Freddie the hardest kiss he could, teeth clashing slightly. He worried they’re lips might be bruised in the morning (honestly he couldn’t care less).

“I feel like such an idiot,” Roger wipes at the tears as Freddie opens the box to the most beautiful ring he’s ever seen. “I thought you were breaking up with me.”

Freddie slips it on his finger. It fits wonderfully. This felt like a dream. Like it wasn’t really happening because it was too perfect.

Freddie smiles and lays a hand on his damp cheek.

“Well you couldn’t be more wrong, darling.”

SATURDAY -

“You assholes!”

Roger cracks a smile as his friends were howling with laughter and rolling around on his couch laughing.

“Do you- do you realize how hard it was for us to keep this proposal from you?”

“I can’t believe this! I was crying in a bowling alley and you guys didn’t give away anything! I was clueless... I’m impressed,” Roger smiles as Deacy starts laughing again.

“You kept saying he was ‘acting weird’ and I wanted to tell you why soo badly,” Deacy sat up and gave him a shit-eating grin. “But I didn’t.”

“Uggh I was complaining about how he didn’t love me anymore,” Roger lets out an exasperated sigh as Brian and Deacy start giggling again. “And I bet that was his sister that he called about the ring, right? I falsely accused him of lying to me.” He groans and flops back on the couch.

He looks up to see Deacy nodding smugly.

“Oh yeah. Freddie was _not_ happy about you accusing him of lying. He actually called me to complain.”

Roger sighs. He shouldn’t have done that. But what’s done is done.

“I was a mess. I think I cried every day this week.” Roger says breathlessly.

“Yeah mate,” Brian nods to him. “You were a mess. Glad it worked out in the end though.”

“Yeah me too.” Roger smiles gently at the new shiny golden ring on his finger. On the inside it read, ‘I found my somebody to love’. It was extremely cheesy and made Roger cringe reading it, but it was perfect.

“Hello love,” Freddie walks into the living room. He was at the studio wrapping up a song he’d been working on for the month of December. He kisses his cheek and settles next to him on the couch. “Why is John crying?” Freddie looks concerned, but Roger rolls his eyes when John and Brian started laughing out of control again.

“They’re laughing.” Roger states monotonously. “They think it’s funny that I thought you were going to break up with me all week.” He pouts out his lip and flutters his eyelashes at his boyfriend, no, fiancé. The thought made his stomach flitter with excitement.

Freddie rolls his eyes and kisses him gently, taking his time. He pulls away and softly looks at his face, as if absorbing it, as if he would never see it again, even though they’re going to be seeing a lot of each other in the next few years.

“I love you too much to lose you.” Roger kisses him again. Gagging noises from both of their friends were heard.

“Yuck!! Get a room!”

**Author's Note:**

> Whatcha think?! Really fluffy, I know:)


End file.
